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 shopping list: the crustacean orgasm

1 lobster tail (sliced in half and cleaned)

1 dozen freshly shucked oysters

1 dozen steamed tiger prawns

4 lemons

1 stick butter

garlic

saffron

ketchup

horseradish

ice

roses, orchids, lilies

champagne

tealight candles

votive holders

 

shopping for seafood: tips 

  • find a good fish monger: either the local fish market or the seafood section of a good supermarket (eg:whole foods)
  • this may seem extravagant...that's the point! you'll actually spend much less on this meal than if you'd gone out to a restaurant...and you don't have to wait to get home to pounce on each other; you're already there!
  • be an oyster lover, not a shucker! there is nothing romantic about shucking oysters. nor is there any delight to be had in an oyster that has been shucked hours beforehand. in the interests of your own crustacean induced orgasm, slip the seafood guy $10 to shuck the oysters on the spot for you, have him put them on ice and take them straight home. this should only be an hour or so before you plan to serve them
  • a little lobster goes a long way, don't be put off by the price. one tail will do both of you. use a good knife to crack the shell, slice it longways, remove the intestinal tract and rinse out the head. slice around the white meat of the tail so that it can be easily removed...or better still: slip the guy another $5 to crack and clean the lobster for you!
  • buy cooked prawns if you cannot be bothered peeling, deveining and cooking them yourself. the world's simplest cocktail sauce is ketchup and horseradish
  • serve lemon wedges on the ice, have a finger bowl with more wedges floating in it